My Pain
by deansbabygirl934
Summary: okay so this is a crossover w/ my bloody valentine but it's mostely supernatural.. there some cusing not much..


Sadly I own nothing but Ryce and what you do not recognize. She says something later on in this one-shot that belongs to the late great Chris Farley. So read and please review. Hope you like it enjoyJ

* * *

She has been here for a while now getting completely wasted. She's not far from Bobby's house so she could be home in a New York minute if they should need her.

But, she needs the time away from Dean and Sam. Ryce was so sick of the looks they had been giving her. She takes a large gulp of whiskey to burn away her memories.

She doesn't want to remember anymore. Sarah had it right. It took ten years to get that mask out her head only to have it back in one night.

"Fucking Harry! Such a fucking bastard! Stupid son of a FUCKING BITCH!" She screamed out into the night air.

She has never been so angry in her life. She wants to hit something. She wants to run and jump off that damn bridge.

Her phone vibrating in her pocket brought her back to the here and now. Looking at the caller id, she saw it was Dean.

"Dean is that you?" She slurs. Stupid question of course it's dean.

"Yeah babe it's me." He says quietly. Hmm maybe he didn't want anyone to know he was talking to her.

"You haven't called me that in a while." She mumbles silent tears slipped out of her closed eyelids.

"I'm sorry it was kinda hard having your ex in my head!" He snapped. Damn there she goes again.

"Please don't be mad at me." She made a sound between a hiccup and sob. Yup she was defiantly drunk. She heard him sigh be fore answering.

"Baby I'm not mad, not really. Look it's been real hard for us all lately." she hears him sigh again. So, she takes another gulp of liquid courage.

"Does Sammy hate me?" she asks. She so unsure of it all right now. And, she really hates that.

"Why would he hate you?" He sounded confused. Why surely he knows why Sam would hate her guts right now.

"Because of me you almost died." She says to him. Okay now she really is crying. As she waits for him to answer, she angrily wipes away her tears.

"Ryce it because of you we survived."

"Whatever!" She grumbles.

"Where are you?" He asks

"Down the by the river living in a van." She laughs at her own stupid joke.

"Rycelynn tell me where you are now!" he snaps.

"Down by the river drunk as shit!" She snaps back.

"Ryce I'm not kidding please tell me where you are." His tone was pleading.

"Where we got arrested." she answers him this time.

"That's what I thought." He mumbles.

"Where are you?" She asks.

"On the road." There was something she had to tell him. She could not tell him in person.

"I'll be there in a minute Ryce." He says. Jackass hangs up before she could get another word out.

She's half way through the bottle when he shows up. "Your car is loud." She grumbles.

Her eyes are still closed and she lying on the ground. But, she knows it's him. Would know him if she was a blind woman.

"Yup but you like it." He says. And, she knows that damn smirk is on his face. She can practically hear it in his voice.

He sits next to her and takes the bottle out of her hands. She can hear him take a drink. "Commie bastard!" She sniped.

Dean had to laugh out loud at that. He hasn't heard her say that in a while. And, never directed at him.

But then again she had never gotten this drunk on whiskey before. "Did you just call me a commie bastard?" He says smirking even though she cannot see it.

"Yup you got a problem with that." The whole time she spoke she never moved. Her eyelids stayed closed. "No just asking." he says to her he takes another drink.

"Whatever." she grumbles. "Dean I think I love you." Well that surprising. Okay maybe not that surprising.

He just couldn't believe she said it. "What about Tom?" He shouldn't have asked but he needed to know.

He saw her twitch out of the corner of his eye. "I loved him once," she pauses takes a deep breath. "But not like I do you." he can hear the truth in her words.

"What do you mean?" he asks needing to know to understand. "I _never_ stopped loving you ever. Tommy was so normal so different from you and this life.

He was just easy to love and he let me love him." She stayed still while she spoke. It was as if she was afraid to move. "Do you wish I were him?" He asks a little afraid of the answer.

She opens her eyes and looks at him now. "No," She gives a little shake of her head. Making her hair fan out behind her.

"You are who you are wouldn't have you any other way." She whispers. He lays down next to her and pulls her close.

He can feel her shiver against him. She places a small hand over his heart and sobs a little into his chest.

He can feel it in his bones as the sound makes it's way to his heart. They lay there quietly for a while neither saying a word.

He thinks she has fallen asleep. "Dean I think I want to die." The words startle him. She has never spoken like this before. Her tone is sad and heart broken. "Why would you say that?" he asks.

Because I should have died ten years ago. I _should_ have died a couple weeks ago." She says her face buried in his chest.

"Baby don't talk like that." he pleads with her. "I think I need you." She says looking at him.

Her eyes look haunted. "I know I need you." he says to her.

He twines his fingers into her hair. Loving the feel of it.

"Don't leave me." she whispers. "Don't leave me." He whispers back.

He kisses her with a fierceness he hasn't had in a while.

He removes her jacket and they swiftly undress. He lets his mouth and body tell her things he cannot say out loud. She loved Tom because he let her love him.

Maybe he could do the same.

**_:THE END:_**


End file.
